C k chesterson told the truth! When he made the quote 'oh, the human race, how I hate it's ugly face.'.
That was in the middle of the 19th century and yea, things have changed, sorta.
If I am sitting in a crowded place like a bank or mall(GOD forbid), even church, I can only imagine his dis-taste, as I must be at least feeling 85% of it;however, I believe I have found a temporary cure for my chestersonian melancholy. Woe be my fellow man, but not so in an airport!
Yes! in all the airports in all the world! And They matter much more than a hill of beans. They have bars!!
Whiskey and a twist with a dash of bitters and I find myself smiling as I sit next to a citizen, even a cordial hi and where r u going?
Ok good lord, take me home safely.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Anyone out there? Helllloooo.!!!
This is about big heads and it's attachments.
Mellon heads at any event u happen to be sitting behind cannot be allowed.
Not in my world!
It's happens to me wherever I go to the opera, movies, Plays, sporting events, etc.
Speaking of sporting events. Usually u sit high enough not to be bothered by someone's birth defect, hat or puffy hair.
Not true at a tennis tourn!
Golf, just move a few inches, movies and plays, move slightly left or right or up.
this manuever holds true for operas, ballets and concerts, But not for tennis!!!!
Let me explain:
The small play area in which the little yellow ball bounces back and forth allows an interesting dynamic of physics; distance to object minimizes object.
when u add to this law of D over O a downward viewing angle u have the perfect situation for spacial interference from Mellon heads.
Their elephant man heads and attachs not only block the full court, but also awards u the Mellon head's fashion of the boulevard's special of the morning,Fluffy, puffy, sticky sprayed and colored yellow hair, which matchs the fuckin tennis balls.
Give me a break and charge a special price for a Mellon head, 'a big head fee'(this includes all of the above obstructions)
In my world all hats and special fluff hairs along with birth defects of the head will be taken to the top row and given a bottle of water , with an event straw.
Mellon heads at any event u happen to be sitting behind cannot be allowed.
Not in my world!
It's happens to me wherever I go to the opera, movies, Plays, sporting events, etc.
Speaking of sporting events. Usually u sit high enough not to be bothered by someone's birth defect, hat or puffy hair.
Not true at a tennis tourn!
Golf, just move a few inches, movies and plays, move slightly left or right or up.
this manuever holds true for operas, ballets and concerts, But not for tennis!!!!
Let me explain:
The small play area in which the little yellow ball bounces back and forth allows an interesting dynamic of physics; distance to object minimizes object.
when u add to this law of D over O a downward viewing angle u have the perfect situation for spacial interference from Mellon heads.
Their elephant man heads and attachs not only block the full court, but also awards u the Mellon head's fashion of the boulevard's special of the morning,Fluffy, puffy, sticky sprayed and colored yellow hair, which matchs the fuckin tennis balls.
Give me a break and charge a special price for a Mellon head, 'a big head fee'(this includes all of the above obstructions)
In my world all hats and special fluff hairs along with birth defects of the head will be taken to the top row and given a bottle of water , with an event straw.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Palms, tits , knives and questions
In this land of tits and smiley faces, I am trying to remember good manners and forebearances taught me as a child of the south.
What am i losing this fine south Carolina upbringing over?
the candy tits!! The frozen smiley stares!! The question of man or woman!!?
I want to look up from my gaze on the legs, buttocks and c two all-convincing GOD granted tits, with a rubber face, pretty as nature allows. NOT The jokers sister, for chrissakes!! this scares me ! AND, do u mind if I can pre-determine the fucking sex?
But here in palm tits and desert designer faces, I have even more delimna; With all my complaining, I have to add a third and fourth caveat; what am I looking at? Is it really alive? And if so, is it woman or man?
I suppose it really doesn't matter, does it?
I'm forever in my own anxiety, whereupon, should i change my attitude and just make the play for plastic?, or continue to find the companionships of the young and silly one, that which most defines my world?
One who lets me re-live yesterdays in all it's glory and pain. (I bet someone will be a smart-Alec and suggest a third choice).
Not in my world.!
Oh oh, my troubles r temporarily over, for just at this very monent, a pretty lady of 55, not looking like last years thanxgiving boned turkey , passed me by, smiling, followed by a lovely silly daughter, im very sure, and not a day older than 30..
OMG! Not much time left. Gotta go now.
What am i losing this fine south Carolina upbringing over?
the candy tits!! The frozen smiley stares!! The question of man or woman!!?
I want to look up from my gaze on the legs, buttocks and c two all-convincing GOD granted tits, with a rubber face, pretty as nature allows. NOT The jokers sister, for chrissakes!! this scares me ! AND, do u mind if I can pre-determine the fucking sex?
But here in palm tits and desert designer faces, I have even more delimna; With all my complaining, I have to add a third and fourth caveat; what am I looking at? Is it really alive? And if so, is it woman or man?
I suppose it really doesn't matter, does it?
I'm forever in my own anxiety, whereupon, should i change my attitude and just make the play for plastic?, or continue to find the companionships of the young and silly one, that which most defines my world?
One who lets me re-live yesterdays in all it's glory and pain. (I bet someone will be a smart-Alec and suggest a third choice).
Not in my world.!
Oh oh, my troubles r temporarily over, for just at this very monent, a pretty lady of 55, not looking like last years thanxgiving boned turkey , passed me by, smiling, followed by a lovely silly daughter, im very sure, and not a day older than 30..
OMG! Not much time left. Gotta go now.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Vienna, it's a beautiful city full of it's friendly people , who look most like any others, cept they either have the Austrian alps influence, hearty and pretty hairy, or the soft flowing Danube, viennese influence, pretty as a post card, handsome as an alpha wolf, BUT!!!! WTF is this smoking like a chimney all about!
The thing that grabs my short hairs is their absolute guilt-less attitude in this nasty and 'get away from me' habit.
I would sit at an outdoor cafe along a street where everyone walks to see something, and next to me could be the loveliest middle aged gent or lady, dressed politely and out of nowhere the smoke would be over my table. Egads, austrians, can't you be satisfied with Ur hills 'are alive' beauty, Mozart and Strauss filling the soft breezes coming from those same mountains on which Julie twirled and twirled? And not smoke? At least not smoke around me, mr. P!
The thing that grabs my short hairs is their absolute guilt-less attitude in this nasty and 'get away from me' habit.
I would sit at an outdoor cafe along a street where everyone walks to see something, and next to me could be the loveliest middle aged gent or lady, dressed politely and out of nowhere the smoke would be over my table. Egads, austrians, can't you be satisfied with Ur hills 'are alive' beauty, Mozart and Strauss filling the soft breezes coming from those same mountains on which Julie twirled and twirled? And not smoke? At least not smoke around me, mr. P!
Geeeezz
That was in the Washington post.
Some things r a bit over a line cause of hyper-sensitivities, this I understand, but making a commentary on the prez's hip-hop BBQ at the white house is no more silly or fun-poking(or mean-spirited) than having a go at a polish party at a weddi dancing to their polkas, or Irish rowdies at a soccer bash at the national team's celebration, Or the stiff-upper-lipped Brits having a go at the cricket match, or some red-neck carolinans funnin at a turkey shoot, on and on.
NOW, cause we have chosen to Have fun-loving cross/cultural references on ALL our diverse nation, we should not have an innocent say bout one particular race/culture??? (wouldn't bama have something to do with all this pokin when he called the Washington police 'stupid' for their handling of the professor?)
Isn't this a silly defense now that 'I'm a highly sensitive , watch what is said around me Lady doc'
It hits, it seems, smack squarely on Ur argument over making apologies to the A M?
a program of help in school and college for the A M?
Draws attention to their lessness, righto?
Now u r offended? but keep them basically in their own kennels type attitude, eh??
U say,'it's cause a proper helping hand only makes their plight worse', or does this come from years and years of 'special'thinking?
It's people who object over a conservative media's or person's joining in on the fun of a culture event that baffles me just enough to 'put me to sleep.' but when it comes from a friend who has in his makeup, the following ; use of 'nigger' word, in ref to a A M... The N is less intelligent ... (proven by the study of DOGS), if a N has a wee bit too much BUFFAGE, Aaahhhh, I'd rather not....
AND..... "matt, I'm driving thru some areas that I'm the only white man, and hope I'm coming out alive." (or something very similar)
Hip hop is the A M's market term.
I wonder if is newly found concern over Ur bros have more to do with Ur constant zig-zag of political, social, sexual, state de flux.
First, u say, they r not smart, then, they r too much like who they r, then, they scare me, then they r Ns'.
Maybe It's a case here of two who have diverse racial feelings,however, one, who wishes to speak of his feelings, but will do nothing about them, cause he knows those feelings r his truths, and the other one , who accepts without an explanation of intelligent reasoning, his attitudes, historically born, and personally witnessed, who knows the truths allow for the need of a helping hand , in it's most efficient form, of course, for a race terribly mis-used by others, as well as by their own ugly modern choices.
now an article bout a fox person having a go at 'the bama hip hop BBQ, which is no more offensive than a lib saying it, but a great deal less offensive than Ur ramarks and feelings .
Relax bro, Ur probably just in a temp state of confusion.
Oh, btw, what do u say to several media in print and on camera, calling the tea party extremists? Not too over-the-line in my book, that's for sure.
How bout the same ones calling them terrorists? And, they weren't even referring ro a gathering of these terrorists at a government BBQ ___shindig!!
Oooooops, I'm sorry old man, I didn't mean to be ugly bout another group of Americans, okies!!
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Wanna have Ur comment placed as a post on my blog? Chances r u dont have it, but u can try. No complaints when Ur left out in the trash can.
Got something that is bug-worthy? Ship it over and if it is worthy to ME, I might post it.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Waiting on hunt. Hurry, Ur driving me insane
Ok!! Enough already!
this is an important evening for u, and as I feel a certain fondness for u and I have a hope of 'something' 'somewhere' 'sometime' for u, I would like to tell u to be on proper behavior for this date tonite.
Don't tell her how many pieces of tail u have had, and don't inquire over her past penis practices .
Give her the benefit of her gender.
whilst u r on the verge of a sexual deprivation syndrome(SDS) break down.
allow this lonely winged bird to have this one nite to finally be out in public on a man-woman date, and celebrate two lost and lonely souls In a healthy manner, but be fully joyful in this rare moment , Leaving Ur seediness at the doorstep.
So my bro, go out into the Warm nite, companion attached, and show the nay-Sayers that This man has become a man who respects a woman, and a man who has finally thrown the 'cheesburger snack, let's dance with a lonely man, now how bout a quick fuck routine into his therapists waste basket, FOREVER!
I'm pulling for u.
this is an important evening for u, and as I feel a certain fondness for u and I have a hope of 'something' 'somewhere' 'sometime' for u, I would like to tell u to be on proper behavior for this date tonite.
Don't tell her how many pieces of tail u have had, and don't inquire over her past penis practices .
Give her the benefit of her gender.
whilst u r on the verge of a sexual deprivation syndrome(SDS) break down.
allow this lonely winged bird to have this one nite to finally be out in public on a man-woman date, and celebrate two lost and lonely souls In a healthy manner, but be fully joyful in this rare moment , Leaving Ur seediness at the doorstep.
So my bro, go out into the Warm nite, companion attached, and show the nay-Sayers that This man has become a man who respects a woman, and a man who has finally thrown the 'cheesburger snack, let's dance with a lonely man, now how bout a quick fuck routine into his therapists waste basket, FOREVER!
I'm pulling for u.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
its just not the way things oughta be
standing in a line at starbucks waiting to give my order, which is bad enough having to listening to the customer two or three steps ahead of me and , yes, usually a lady, making both social conversation and asking for the latest 'soda fountain' mixture of sweet and bitter, with a pinch of spice, covered in milky foam with a f...... cherry on top, but then ,when im the next to the one paying her tab, she is opening a small kinda silky looking thing, not big enough to hold anything of value, and is fumbling with three skinny fingers around inside this pouch, i know im in for it. ....i want to step to her side and hand the starbuck's person a 10$ bill and say, " here, for christ's sake, keep the change.
remedy; post notice 'no
not in my world
mr. p
standing in a line at starbucks waiting to give my order, which is bad enough having to listening to the customer two or three steps ahead of me and , yes, usually a lady, making both social conversation and asking for the latest 'soda fountain' mixture of sweet and bitter, with a pinch of spice, covered in milky foam with a f...... cherry on top, but then ,when im the next to the one paying her tab, she is opening a small kinda silky looking thing, not big enough to hold anything of value, and is fumbling with three skinny fingers around inside this pouch, i know im in for it. ....i want to step to her side and hand the starbuck's person a 10$ bill and say, " here, for christ's sake, keep the change.
remedy; post notice 'no
not in my world
mr. p
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Double cheeseburgers
I'm on a flight from Ontario, CA, to Tulsa, OK, stopping in Phoenix.
I dont look forward much to flying and adding the goofy people and their irritating habits, I really hope I can have a pleasant experience, as much as my concentration will allow.
First flight, full and buckled in. Strangely, the middle seat next to me was empty and I WAS thrilled. Then BOOM a double cheeseburger with mayo squishing out all over, waddling down the isle, looking! Omg!! The only seat left was next to me. It was difficult, very difficult for me watching her struggling to climb over the isle passenger, using both hands to re-arrange her protoplasm so it would all end up in that dames' seat. It didn't because sooo much of the double cheeseburger was pushed on to me, my legs and my arms, even some on my side. I looked down to reach my book inside my bag, but I couldn't move. Nope I couldn't get up or down, no need to go to the John.
Not in my world. On my airline, there will only be 6 double seats for the cheeseburgers.
Mr P
I dont look forward much to flying and adding the goofy people and their irritating habits, I really hope I can have a pleasant experience, as much as my concentration will allow.
First flight, full and buckled in. Strangely, the middle seat next to me was empty and I WAS thrilled. Then BOOM a double cheeseburger with mayo squishing out all over, waddling down the isle, looking! Omg!! The only seat left was next to me. It was difficult, very difficult for me watching her struggling to climb over the isle passenger, using both hands to re-arrange her protoplasm so it would all end up in that dames' seat. It didn't because sooo much of the double cheeseburger was pushed on to me, my legs and my arms, even some on my side. I looked down to reach my book inside my bag, but I couldn't move. Nope I couldn't get up or down, no need to go to the John.
Not in my world. On my airline, there will only be 6 double seats for the cheeseburgers.
Mr P
Friday, June 3, 2011
A Picker, A Chomper, A Squatter and A Screamer...
Ok!!! I've had a bad day...
A Picker
I've put up with a red haired lady and her round husband both digging away for extra food lodged in their teethies, in broad daylight at a SMALL upscale restaurant. She kept digging, digging and then she spoke to me, remarking on my salad looking healthy. Sooooo ugh!!
A Chomper
Then this other lady sitting lonesomely next to my table kept doing some irritating thing with small pieces of her food. I soon noticed something fluffy and white perched on the chair next to her.. Her SHIT zu dog!! she was giving it equal bites, first IT, then her, then IT, then her.
I love dogs, aaaaahhh but there is something creepy about a dog at a nice restaurant sitting in a DIRTY dog carrier bag, on a Chair, chomping away... I mean something creepy about the lady who brings the dog...
A Squatter
In the late afternoon I'm reading my book bout Sinatra and Zippity, out come two pups romping on the lawn in front of my patio, cute both, but then one stopped 5 feet from me and squatted and laid a large tootsie roll, he jumped up and ran off . The lady or man who owned this little bastard never came around, soooooo I wrote the association and not telling on anybody, inquired what the fffffing rules are, which I already knew and also knew the association will put out a notice to have dogs on a leash and for them to be taken to the bathroom at their designated area... Haaaaaaaa
A Screamer
Now I'm at a Thai dinner cafe (Ana knows which one) and quietly enjoying my fish soup... Boom a baby's scream right next to me. I didn't fuss, I sat there and started to wonder why all this was going on around ME!!
Then the darndest thing, the baby was no longer screaming.
Oh boy ! Aaahhh ... So I dared to look directly at the baby and mother to smile my thanx, when mommy flopped out a big one and jammed junior to it...
No cover and a smile on mama's face. It shut baby up all right but I had to listen to slurrping sounds for the rest of my din-din. Ooohhhhhh me.
I've had a bad day...
Mr. P
A Picker
I've put up with a red haired lady and her round husband both digging away for extra food lodged in their teethies, in broad daylight at a SMALL upscale restaurant. She kept digging, digging and then she spoke to me, remarking on my salad looking healthy. Sooooo ugh!!
A Chomper
Then this other lady sitting lonesomely next to my table kept doing some irritating thing with small pieces of her food. I soon noticed something fluffy and white perched on the chair next to her.. Her SHIT zu dog!! she was giving it equal bites, first IT, then her, then IT, then her.
I love dogs, aaaaahhh but there is something creepy about a dog at a nice restaurant sitting in a DIRTY dog carrier bag, on a Chair, chomping away... I mean something creepy about the lady who brings the dog...
A Squatter
In the late afternoon I'm reading my book bout Sinatra and Zippity, out come two pups romping on the lawn in front of my patio, cute both, but then one stopped 5 feet from me and squatted and laid a large tootsie roll, he jumped up and ran off . The lady or man who owned this little bastard never came around, soooooo I wrote the association and not telling on anybody, inquired what the fffffing rules are, which I already knew and also knew the association will put out a notice to have dogs on a leash and for them to be taken to the bathroom at their designated area... Haaaaaaaa
A Screamer
Now I'm at a Thai dinner cafe (Ana knows which one) and quietly enjoying my fish soup... Boom a baby's scream right next to me. I didn't fuss, I sat there and started to wonder why all this was going on around ME!!
Then the darndest thing, the baby was no longer screaming.
Oh boy ! Aaahhh ... So I dared to look directly at the baby and mother to smile my thanx, when mommy flopped out a big one and jammed junior to it...
No cover and a smile on mama's face. It shut baby up all right but I had to listen to slurrping sounds for the rest of my din-din. Ooohhhhhh me.
I've had a bad day...
Mr. P
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